Treasures found on the beach, enhanced with a digital app that has my mind burning. It seems amazing that what I see when I’m taking a photo is not what comes forth on my screen, but is what my mind’s eye sees immediately as I approach carefully with my camera. I may have overemphasized this lead photo, but I am entranced with it. Stones and sticks placed on the beach by the tide that seems to leave messages of beauty in abandon.
Reality isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes. Somehow, though, this certain evening on the beach captivated the spark of imagination; and that isn’t a bad thing either.
All in all, we make photographs as a painter paints, seeing only the beauty and hoping to give that as a gift back to the Universe.
I’ve used a digital app called Painnt in this collection of today’s photos.
Some days require hiding my head, my thoughts, and just drifting. Days of reading, looking for whatever it is I look for, answers that aren’t there; but I know they’re there. Days spent by the water where I find the greatest peace and most often where I find the answers, or at least a clue. Lucky for me that I have such freedom and a place I call home that is minutes from the water.
Our new backyard friend. Squirrely 2 (1 was at my previous residence). We think he thinks he can get away with slithering down the rod holding the bird feeder and just pretend to be a bird so as to fool us, and eat all of the bird food. We couldn’t figure out at first how it could be that all the bird seed, all of it, could disappear so fast, until we caught our little stealth ninja red handed. Needless to say, the birds are not happy about this. Yesterday we devised a top for the bird feeder placed at the level where the ring slips over the rod. As I sit and write this, Squirrely 2 just came to our kitchen picture window, where we have our own nature channel, and looked in at me with a “what the heck” look on his face. I pointed Squirrely 2 in the direction of a new dish that contains what is called Critter Food special just for him that I know he’ll appreciate…the birds were up first this morning and have been enjoying it also. They can work it out amongst themselves now.
Returning to center. Returning to the root of my maternal ancestors. I’ve been writing a Sunday morning group text to my kids for a while now, and most recently have begun telling our family story, member by member, starting with their great-grandmothers and including old photos I have. Last Sunday’s text was about my mom, her story from what I know, and what she had told me about. I wish I had asked more questions. I do know though, what a strong group of women there are in my maternal lineage, no question there. This all started another line of thought as I signed a painting that I’ll say is done. I’ve been signing my work, photography and paintings, with my hyphenated maiden paternal and married surnames. A huge explosion went off in my head this last week as to why in god’s name I would not use my grandmother’s surname! It still rankles that I would not have thought of this a few years ago. I begin now, to publicly honor her and all of the incredible women that have come through her; the Vidaurri women.
A quick walk around the time of sunset. Clouds shape shifting as they do around these parts. I almost feel that sunsets aren’t complete unless I’m by the bay, but have lately realized that the sky stretches to all parts, all around me. Neighborhood streets, hills, grocery store parking lots I look up, and there it is, opening to the evening.
realized that the sky
Twelve years! It began on a desire to photograph, to write but I had no confidence then. I surreptitiously followed such blogs, and finally commented on someone’s ongoing 365. I told him I wished I could do that. His reply? Well, why can’t you? It was the slap upside the head I needed to realize I was getting in my own way. I laugh now in retrospect at who I was then, and the metamorphosis that has taken place in 12 years. Not that I’ve become a Diane Arbus, or Virginia Woolf. But I’ve lost temerity and the worry of what others think. I photograph and write for me; if someone else likes it too all the better, if not, its none of my business. Maybe that’s a sure sign of getting old.
A lot has happened over the last twelve years, too, changing the me that I was to who I’ve become. Hard, painful changes that have brought growth. There has been a lot of happiness too with family and friends. And that is what matters most.
Opening myself to the whispers of my creative muse. Allowing myself to accept the fact that I had held the key to open this door all along. How is it that I can’t remember when I let that world close its door; or indeed, saw the closed door and ignored it.
But now, as I’ve pulled back the door, I walk in to explore a world filled with lines and shape and color that my mind embraces like an old friend who has been sorely missed. We walk arm in arm and I’m told it is ok to bend and shape the lines and colors to create new worlds that bring joy and wonder.
The photo above is a quick snap I took last night of art on a flat wall above the mantle and reinvented through play and creating digital abstract art in mobile apps. I’m finding that my muse likes to play. A freedom from staying inside the lines. A new world has opened.
What is it about October? The colors, definitely. The beginning subtle change in the light as evening approaches earlier and earlier, lights blinking on in windows as I walk through the neighborhood. The blessed relief of the heat of summer receding.
And pumpkins on porches, definitely.